I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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