I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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