did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
