she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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