Porn is love you can see.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
