You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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