Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
