In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
