im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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