have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
