just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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