so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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