all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize