I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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