im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
