Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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