he wants to bone in the snuggie
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
