so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
