Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
