Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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