The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
