I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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