Swine flu. Run for my life!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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