Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
