I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
