Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm like, not good at living.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
