I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
