Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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