what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
