Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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