I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
one two three fourrrrnication!
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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