Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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