It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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