I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
