Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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