Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
