I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize