Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
