I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
