So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
