I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
