if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
