I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
