Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
