I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
