he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
