oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
