operation have a gay friend backfired
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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