I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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