Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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