It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
