4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
