We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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