Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
