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Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize