Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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