ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
