So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
