FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
