party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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