You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
