and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
