so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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