I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
