I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
