I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
