So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
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I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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