i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
